Our House
by FratBoizInc
Summary: Imagine the following description in the epic movie commercial voice: 7 men, one possibly haunted, degrading house. Can they survive each other's antics? Can they escape brain freeze? Can they find enough money to afford nice things? Read and find o
1. Chapter 1

Hi, this is Sniffles and Lenny. These 7 men are our pawns, and we control every aspect of their lives...in the fic at least.  
Angeal: And that's why we hate them.  
Sniffles: You love us  
Cloud: By the way, they don't own any of us. We belong to Square Enix.  
Sniffles: For now anyways...  
Lenny: Muahahahah!  
Sniffles: -elbow Lenny- Chill with the hinting of an evil plan existing  
Lenny: Sorry...  
Reno: Hey that means we make tons of money every time there's a spin off of our game, yo.  
Seph: Yet, in this fanfiction, we're flat broke.  
Lenny: You're damn skippy.  
Zack and Genesis: ENJOY READING THIS!  
Vincent: ...What they said.  
Sniffles: What Vincent means is YOU WILL LOVE EVERY FREAKING SECOND OF THIS!

* * *

It was a house. That they were sure of. It had a roof, it had walls, it had windows, it had a door or two, some shingles(given they were falling off), and shutters(given they were falling off), and some stairs(given they were falling off). But despite its half assed, emaciated, decrepit, broken, deshevledness, it was a house. Not just any house it was their house.

"Its emaciated!" Genesis exclaimed, being overly optimistic and pointing out the obvious at the same time. Angeal sighed, it was going to be a long… day…s.

"Genesis… it's a house, it can't be emaciated." Sephiroth stated, as they stood seven strong in front of the ancient house.

"I've got basement." Vincent said, walking passed them toward the house.

"Attic." Cloud said, following behind Vincent. Sephiroth glared mini Masamunes at Cloud's back, disliking that he'd called the place of his desires first.

"Four rooms, whos sharing?" Angeal question following Vincent and Cloud's examples.

"Nope." Cloud and Vincent said at the same time.

"Oka-"

_**Our house in the middle of our street our house in the middle of our**_

"Genesis what the hell?" Angeal demanded, turning to the boom box armed redhead.

"Dude where'd you get the boom box?" Reno questioned.

"Garage sale." the red-head said, "We passed by it."

"You don't have money though." Zack said, in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Stole it."

Angeal raised an eyebrow as Zack and Genesis fist-pounded, "That's not a great accomplishment. Now as I was saying, who's sharing rooms?"

"I will kill anyone who suggests that I share a room with them. I get that room." Sephiroth said, pointing at a window on the western side of the old house. It took not even two seconds after for Zack to yell,

"Gen and I will share!"

"Good yo, that means I get my own room." Reno smiled, walking inside, careful to skip over the crumpling steps up to the door.

"Zack, what if this place is haunted? Who will we call?" Genesis asked. Being a fan of '80s movies, the ex-psycho opened his mouth to answer. Angeal glared at him,

"Say it and I'll make Genesis share the room with you."

Sephiroth shut his mouth, for the moment. As he walked past the others to enter, he muttered, "Ghostbusters."

Soon enough, the seven of them gathered in the living room, all looking at the old, 1970s TV.

"Do you think we have cable?" Zack asked.

"No puppy." Angeal answered.

"That sucks. But hey, there's a VHS player cool."

"OH! We should watch a Disney movie!" Genesis proclaimed. Vincent rolled his eyes,

"No."

"Why? What's wrong with Disney? Do you have something against it?"

"No. Disney's just annoying."

"You have no soul."

"Thank you."

"Hey the floor makes sounds!" All heads turned as Zack began jumping up and down on a creaky spot on the floor.

"Idiot." Sephiroth murmured, crossing his arms.

"Um Puppy, this house is really old you s-" Angeal was cut off as Zack's feet collided with the floor and he went straight through the floor, "hould probably not do that…"

"Zackary!" Genesis yelled down the hole

"Genary!" Zack shouted back.

"Are you alive?" Genesis responded.

"He's obviously alive if he responded you idiot!" Sephiroth snapped.

"Shh Sephiroth, Zackary is possibly dead, this is no time for your PMSing drama!" Genesis whispered. Sephiroth glared at Genesis, then at the others whom chuckled at his hushed statement.

"Zack, you alright down there yo?" Reno joined Genesis at the edge of the hole, as did Angeal when Zack didn't answer for a while.

"I am A-Oh-Kay!" Zack shouted, from behind them, having had come from the door to the basement from the basement.

"Food." Cloud stated, after checking to see if he still had hearing in the ear Zack had just yelled in.

"Yes." Genesis said, and held out his hands to Cloud.

"…" Cloud stared at him for a moment, then walked away into the kitchen.

"…how dare you're emo-ness lure me into a false stare of believing-I-was-about-to-be-feed-precious-nutients-and-nurisment-ness!" Genesis said loudly, following Cloud into the kitchen.

"Angeal!" Cloud called from the kitchen, ignoring Genesis's every existence as he ranted at him.

"Me?" Angeal responded.

"We have no food." Cloud stated coming back into the room. "Yeahhhhh about that…" "He spent allll our funds on this house. We have no food money." Zack blurted out.

"Puppy!" Angeal smacked him off side the head, "Well… yeah pretty much."

"WHAT?" shouted everyone who wasn't Angeal, Zack doing so because everyone else was.

"Yeahhhh… oops."

"We're all going to starve to death, yo." Reno stated, all flustered and panicy and what not.

"I thought you were supposed to be the responsible one. That's what it says in Snifflez's notes." Cloud said, glaring slightly with his cool blue eyes of prettieness.

"What notes?" Angeal demanded.

"The notes that Snifflez and Lenny, our gender confused authors made because they're forgetful that Snifflez somehow never lost." Cloud responded, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yep," Zack said, "It gives us all stereotypes for the writing necessities of Snifflez and Lenny. You're listed at the responsible one."

"Oh… oops." Angeal shrugged.

"WAIT! We have a working freezer and water! We can make ice we won't starve!" Genesis announced from the kitchen.

"I got beds too…" Angeal said.

"Oh boy…" Cloud rolled his eyes.

"I hate you all." Sephiroth stated, then stormed off the his room.

"…Someone's cranky." Cloud mentioned, as the silver haired crazy stormed off.

"It might be because I woke him up at 2 in the morning, and he couldn't get back to sleep later. But who cares." Genesis said, finding a bucket under the sink and filling it with water.

"Ice…Oh my god, snow cones." Zack realized. Angeal's palm met his face,

"Puppy, you just figured that out?"

"Yeah. But we need flavoring to go with it."

"E-bay, yo." Reno mentioned, leaving to see if he could get cable for the old TV.

"Hey, you know what else making ice reminded me of?" the puppy asked.

"What?" Genesis wondered.

"ICE ICE BABY TOO COLD!"

* * *

Genesis: I'm so glad you're not dead Zack!  
Zack: Me too! We have so much in common!  
Genesis: I know right!  
Angeal: ... Just shut up so the poor people lured into reading this can go and bandage their bleeding eyes.  
Sniffles: -push Vincent into view-  
Lenny: Say it!  
Vincent: ... Review, now.  
Snifflesn'Lenny: BYE!


	2. Chapter 2

Angeal: This chapter would have been uploaded sooner if Lenny hadn't been such a lazy ass.  
Seph: So feel free to yell at Lenny.  
Cloud: But be kind about it too.  
Zack: Anyway, here's the fic.  
Genesis: Can you tell who wrote which parts?  
Vincent: ...Read it.

**Disclaimer: **We obviously don't own this. Except for TV (the character, not the glowy box of awesome) that's ours.

* * *

"I found paper!" Genesis announced, parading into the House, Zack at his heels. The (Genesis and Zack deemed) 'super sexy seductive stunning stern steve scary seven' had been in their old house, while on an ice diet for a week now. And as of today, it had been six days since Angeal had been naïve enough to send them thinking they wouldn't be distracted, sidetracked, and lost.

"About time." Sephiroth grumbled, idly crunching some ice. Genesis handed the paper to Angeal with an abundance of pride. Angeal held the paper, stared at it, blinked a few times, then proceeded to smack Genesis over the head with it.

"This is printer paper! We need the newspaper!" he snapped.

"I'm sorry!" Genesis bowed his head in shame.

"We'll go get one right now!" Zack proclaimed, heading for the door.

"No! No, puppy, no!"

"But, but, but!"

"No, your staying. Because…uh…" Angeal looked over the people, trying to select someone competent enough who would actually find the newspaper.

"Sephiroth" Genesis said, putting words into peoples mouths as he often did.

"Sephiroth." Angeal repeated before realizing what he doing before he did realize so and didn't care.

"No!" the ex-crazy said.

"Go!"

Genesis grinned, "Ho!"

"So!" Zack chimed.

"Yo!" Reno said. Angeal glared at the three whom grinned.

"Oh!" the pyro continued, fully aware of the instigation he just instigated, and the chaos that would ensue.

"Flow!"

"Row!"

"Glow!"

"Vertigo!"

"Bow!"

"Avengeo!"

"Friendo!"

"Lento!"

Genesis basked in the annoyance that stirred.

"Rhyme one more word, and I will rip your tongues out and use them to hang you by your baby toes in a closet." Vincent growled, glaring menacingly and worse of all, ruining the rhyme chain.

"Thank you Vincent." Angeal said quickly. The possible vampire nodded before returning to the darkness of his basement. "Now, Sephiroth, seeing as you're now for the most part mentally stable, go get the newspaper."

"No."

"Now."

"Make me."

"Now. Or I'll make Cloud move into your room." he threatened, with a quickly glance at the blond to see if he would comply. Cloud nodded and Angeal smirked, "Don't think I won't. I'm paying for this house."

"And if you put him in my room, there will be no house to speak of in less then 30 minutes." Sephiroth replied.

"Hey Cloud, you can start moving your stuff-"

"Alright, alright, I'll get the damn newspaper."

Sephiroth glared at Angeal, but before he could say anything, they were interrupted by Reno yelling. The Turk had been messing with their old TV, and he finally managed to turn it on.

"Yo! The TV's haunted!" he cried.

That caught the attention of the other 6 in the house, even Vincent. They gathered around the old TV to see if what was claimed was true.

"Hmmm? Who are you?" a voice asked.

"…Please, tell me someone else heard that too." Cloud said. The rest nodded. "Good, I'm not hearing voices in my head…again…"

Sephiroth looked proud of himself for a moment. Genesis pointed at the TV screen and jumped,

"It has eyes and a mouth!"

It was true. In the fuzziness of the TV screen, they could clearly see eyes and a mouth.

"Um, yeah. Hi."

The TV spoke.

"Hi! I'm Zack!" said puppy introduced himself happily.

"Puppy, don't talk to it." Angeal said.

"Oh, I'm not a mean ghost. So uh, you're Zack. Who's the one with the spiky blond hair."

"Cloud!"

"Hello, Cloud." TV said, with a sort of giggle.

"Awwwww, it has a crush on Cloud!" Genesis said. Reno smiled,

"Cloud and TV sitting in a tree-"

Zack and Genesis joined in, "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"I'm leaving." the blond said, heading up to the attic. TV's smile turned into a frown as he left.

"Cloud, you made TV cry!" Genesis called up to him.

* * *

Sniffles: Read it!  
Vincent: Alright. Lenny'n'Sniffles request reviews. Can I go back to my basement now?  
Lenny: Yes.


End file.
